What I Learned From Being A Pregnant Usherette
Around 10 years ago I was pregnant with my first child, and my husband and I were extremely skint. We had no money whatsoever. I knew that I needed to find a job, so when I saw the local cinema advertising for an usherette, I fired in my application and after a brief perfunctory interview, I got the job. I thought it would be the perfect solution: it would bring in some more money, it was relatively low-level physical activity and I just love movies. However, the reality didn’t quite live up to the fantasy. What follows is a list of what I learned from my brief employment at the cinema whilst pregnant:
- Even if you love movies, after watching The Spice Girls Movie for the 14th time, you will quite happily swear off movies for life.
- The smell of popcorn and morning sickness do not mix.
- A pregnant woman standing collecting tickets for more than 10 mins will not stay standing for much longer.
- Stiff polyester uniforms do not make the most comfortable maternity clothes.
- The majority of people who went to see LA Confidential didn’t ‘get’ it, as evidenced by the confused expressions on the faces of the departing audience.
- A little popcorn goes a long way, particularly when the bag is kicked across the aisle.
- Large groups of mouthy teenagers are really annoying.